My soon disappearing into thin air hong baos
My contacts have came to a standstill.
My father side peeps no longer give me hong baos. Only my mum side.
Felt so weird that my cousin, who's one yr older than me and also got married last year, gave me hong bao! We're playmates since young.. then it's like.. crap. why is she giving hong baos and i'm recieving it? hahaha. Conflitcing emotions..
Then meet up with superman clark, Kenny G's brother(erieck G), a renegade apple who escape from one of the many apple trees, Sister huijun and ms low rena(pun not intended). Was a great time of laughing and fellowshipping. Esp with clark. Seldom have the time to talk and fellowship with him becoz of his committment to usher ministry. So it was a v.good time together! Then we proceeded to mr bean to meet the rest of the gang members. haha.
Then then then then, i met up with my sec school friends.. go jalan kayu makan prata.. got back home about 3plus. 2nd night consecutive late night. haha. but it was quite fun la. More hong baos be better. but.. haha. nvm.
Woke up this morning. Had a couple of weird dreams before i came to awakening. weird. It's not going to happen. Bind it in Jesus's name! Was just going thru sermon notes i took down during 99-01. Dunno exactly which year though. didn't date it. It was during the manhood seminar when the late Dr Edwin louis Cole was preaching. It goes like this..
The quality of the product is dependant on the quality of the material used. The quality of our character depends on the material that we give to Jesus to use. I just felt God ask me, if i were to give you a hong bao too this year. What do u want to be in it?
how bout you friends? What would you want God to put in in His hong bao to you? :D
Hope you'll be bless by this! Shine for God during this CNY season!
I'm in love with this song from hillsong united called 'til i see you'
*I'll live to love you. I'll live to bring you praise. I'll live, a child in awe of you*
memoirs of a geisha
Like the title suggest. I went to watch it last night with my church friends. A first to go all the way to the north to catch a midnight movie.. haha.. but it's a give and take situation la. So.. haha.. no complains. for the sake of the northians.
It's another movie about the woman being the object. Another story about oppression of woman in those times. Forced to do what they would never ever want to do. By situation, by people or whatever. Selling beauty, bodies and status to get them to where they are. Not blaming them for that; on the contrary, i feel for them. A constant state of vulnerability. Living in a world constantly facing wolves in sheep clothings. Hearts of pursuer are filled with perverted love. Lust is the perverted love. Longing intimacy or pleasure on the suffering of others. Woman in that era, i feel for you.
Even now, things like these still happen. Man claiming to be man beat, rape, molest and abuse the woman of this age. Maybe it's not so evident in Spore since woman here know how to stand up against them. The woman in less liberated cultures are not so fortunate. I read a articles about the woman in india who are in the lowest caste(most poverish) have to sell their bodies to men once they reach their puberty to support the family and themselves.
I always believe. The true strength of a man is never represented by brute force. But love, integrity, honest and self control. Respecting woman as they are. Like what brother gabriel once told me. The best way to educate your child is to show how much you love your wife. Speaking like a true man indeed. I have made a decision that never will i mistreat my gf/wife but to love her like how Christ love the church.
I Pray for all the woman in the world. I pray all man be like the only true man who ever lived. Jesus Christ!
Happy chinese new year!
Just finished eating reunion dinner.. my two elder brothers, my mum, granny and i.
It was a nice chat between us and quite frankly, i enjoyed the company. Last year was not really good. The year b4 also. haha. Praise God it's quite enjoyable this year :D
Today, my younger cousin gave me a new name. A Singaporean Male Maid. SMM for short. why u ask? I was the only one at home cleaning up the house! Goodness. I was quite lost at where to start. haha. But, the job was 3/4 done. didn't clean up the kitchen coz my mum worked til bout 6plus then came back to cook. So i clean up the living room, my room/bro/granny's room. A little of my parent's room. yeah. A long day of work. By the end of it.. so sleepy. took a nap. Woke up by the sound of my mum cooking. Didn't even hear her come back home..
well, it's another new year for the chinese people. A year ago this time, i told myself that i'll be quite happy this time this year. I'm gonna be done with my service! woohoo!!!!
Day rises and night falls
i've not lost count still
not that counting is all that important
but time do really tell apart
what's true and what's false
time will tell you
that i've never been true-er.
to andrea:
i know how you feel. Feel trap huh? Feel like a wall blocking you right. Don't worry. It's all gonna be fine :D
Happy Chinese New YEar my frIends! Hope you have tons of hong baos money! if you think it's too much.. can give some to me :D
motto
i found the perfect quote for myself.
Whether he is a artist or not, the photographer is a joyous sensualist, for the simple reason that the eye traffics in feeling, not in thoughts. - Walker Evans.
Goodness. lotsa of angry and frustrated words floating around the house now.. humph...
My advance final theory today. haha.. only started to study last night. On the reason and excuse that i remember better if i study it later. haha. But hey, by God's grace.. i PASSED! Praise the LORD!
I still have to churn out a script by today.. and yet.. i've got no juice flowing out.. haha. I need creative juice! :D
blood and bones
Just got back from watching blood and bones. Man. What a show.
There are so much issues touched in this 2hrs. Political, social, family etc..
The plot is around this family. The head of the house is a very violent person. To sum up his character; he doesn't live for other's pleasure, he just live for his.
So life evolves him and the people who have the 'pleasure' to meet with or live with him. This character really is the kind of person that love and think about himself only; even unto death. He does have a flare for business and survival but usually at the expense of others. Take advantage of widows left from war with promises of marriage which will never happen. Cheating on his wife. Buying a house just across the one he lives in and house the widow in it. Basically, he's not a man. definitely have the build and strength of one, but not the character of one.
As he grew older, so does his wife and the widow. I still not sure if it's the wife who got brain tumor or the widow(i seriously think it's the wife but someone bet to defer. need to go research on this) so after radiation and operation, he brought her back home and took care of her(she's paralysied, so she had to be fed, bathed and all)I was surprised but years of watching shows taught me just to wait and see. And in the end, he suffocated her..(oh.. she also had to bear with her husband's infidelity in the house. She can't move but she ain't deaf). His son saw it and he said that it's for her to not suffer so much. That really is up to your own interpretation. Whether he really wanted her not to suffer as much or he to suffer that much, is your call. The point is that, while i was watching that, i put myself into his shoes. What if the one i love now became a vegetable or paralysed? How would i react? What would i do?
The answer to me was clear. Thru sickness and health, til death do us part. To the person i really love, i'm gonna stick it thru out. I WILL take care of you for the rest of my life!
Just so much things to discuss about this film if to go in depth. too much to type. too sleepy to do that now..
Anyway, i just started to read from Genesis again. Got a couple of revelations. One of it is that, when cain and abel offered an sacrifice to God. God rejected cain's offering and he got mad and kill his brother. The first murder that happen in the bible and they are the 2nd generation of the human race! Cain was the first born son and have the birth right to all there is. They could hear God and communicate with God. They have experiences with God. Adam would have told them how beautiful it was at eden, communing with God. I'm sure abel knew God by his offering. But it seems that cain had a different perception of how God is. A God that only takes. I learn from reading a book that i bought called.. i forgot what it is called! haha. lend it to my friend to read. But it says, when bad things that happens to you, how you respond to God show how u think God is. Bite on that for a while :D
shooting stars
Above the dark wide sky
filled with all sorts of lights
shimmering and sparkling
like diamonds in your eyes
Still, there are planets big and small
worlds that no minds can ever fully grasp
Light travelling in it's glory will past by
even the path of light are guided by His mind
I'm feel like a shooting star
Falling from where the rest are
as lovely as i seem to your eyes
i vanish as quickly as i've come to sight
oh deja-vu oh deja-vu
glimpses of eternity is what i need
in sync with GOD's mind
on path with His marvellous plans
A being being a human
is not what you are.
In the eyes of the Creator
you are like how He is.
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Do not use any part of the passage
without owner's permission..
KING KONG!!!!
Mr Lobo Chan.
You wonder who's that? haha..
Seth and me went PS(plaza sing.. ya ya.. that shopping centre that sings) to catch a show. Initally, we wanted to catch Blood and bones but the timing all so bad.. so we decide to watch the king of the jungle, KING KONG BUNDIE. No. just King Kong. I anyhow give him a last name. Wait a min. nvm.. i tell you a joke that i just realised. Back to the topic. so the show ended and we were looking at the credits rolling on the screen. Then, we saw the list of actors' names and saw the chinese guy who's acting in the show name is.. yes.. LOBO Chan.
Boy, it cracked us up. It's a native private joke. What a name.
ok.. so.. the show is not too bad.. Just that some scenes quite hilarious to me.. haha.. esp when king kong went to manhattan and found Ann Dawson. It grab her and walk down this road with residential building on each side. I just tot it's funny coz it seems like King Kong is looking for a house. haha.
Technically, it's well done man! The set design and all is incredible! goodness.. Peter jackson is really good! not to mention the crews as well.. :D
Love yourelf!
Dr Joyce Meyer came to church to preach this weekend. Wow. What an excellent message it was for all of us, no?
Self image, loving yourself, loving life, enjoying yourself while on the journey to change etc.. To love yourself but not being selfish and self-centered.
During service 3(if i'm not wrong), Dr Joyce made the whole service repeat after her, " GOD loves ME". The atmosphere was awesome! The love of God just fill the whole auditorium. Even right now, as i think of it, as i recite those words in my mind. I can feel the love of God. God do love ME! ME! It have never been so personal before. All these times, we know that God is love and all, but to many of us it had never been personal. We somehow managed to detach ourselves from the word 'me'. Thinking that yes, 'God loves me', but that me is not the real me. The 'me' in our mind usually is someone else that ME! Mind blowing weekend!
Backtrack abit.. Friday night after cg prayer meeting, rushed down to town to meet lawrence, anne and kevin. Introduced Lawrence to the rest and discuss about the script which i wrote for the short film. It was fruitful and i thank God for lawrence and bernard's participation! I'm so excited over this! So much we can achieve and bring the awareness of AIDS to people. Anne left for a movie at 1145pm.. kevin left at that time too though he's not watchin the show with her la.. anyway, i hanged out with lawrence til about 2am, catching up with each other's life and bouncing ideas off each others. We decided to re-write the script coz we have a better idea. He's gonna co-write and co-direct with me for this short film. REally am so excited about this! woohooo!! Then we caught a Elizabethtown at 2am at cineleisure. Not too bad. It was quite enjoyable to see orlando bloom and kirsten durnst as a couple. Just that i think, a woman like that in the story would hardly exist! haha.
I'm gonna finish my NS too! 15th of MARCH!!! FASTER pls.. Time have never seem so long b4! Goodness.. I'm really looking forward to this year! yahoo!!! This year is gonna be a great year for spiritual growth and everything else to grow in my life! Love you GOD!
i'm so excited!
I have a hunch feeling that this year is going to be the best year yet for me.
Something in my spirit just tells me this! I'm going to ORD on 150306 finally! 35days of official working days and it's over! NS is OVER!!! hahahaaha!
Goodness. To say time flies would be a lie. This 2yrs 2mths felt so long! But the first half of 2005 past relatively fast. Just that now, time seems to slow down. The day seems longer than usual! maybe i just can't wait to ORD! hahaha.
Finally i can kick start my career! I'll be free-lancing for the rest of the year, save money to go SOT next year! I'm going to be busy with this short film for AIDS awareness to the people out there. It's already playing in my mind the scenes. Need sound and photography lobang. HAve pls call me!
I was just reading this secondary friend's blog. She broke up with her bf of 5 yrs. For whatever reasons i don't know but it's really a sad case la. I mean both still feel for each other.. can't something be done to save it? Does it have to end that painfully? Why must both person who are still in love with each other not be together even if things happen?
I realise that girls have this thinking that i really don't understand. SAy they did something wrong in the relationship but the guy is still willing to overlook it and take her back, start over again. The girl would not want to! Even though she still love the guy! Hello! The Guy really treasure you that's why he's willing to forgive and forget! Why can't u accept it and move on with it! why do u have to cause harm on both parties? You may think you're being unfair to him but hey, we DON'T CARE as long we have you!!!! Doesn't it show how much we love you to want to let you go!?
ok.. enuff venting. Guys and girls think differently i know. But to see such a tragic ending really ache my heart. ok.. that's my 2 cent worth. :D
Btw, this weekend is Dr JOyce Meyer! My friend bought this book called weary warrior, fainting saints when i was not doing too well. It's awesome! I really lookin forward this week's service!
Wishlist for this year
1) To experience GOD more and more and more and more and more and more.. you get the idea.
2) Cg to grow and multiply!
3) To get my car license!
4) Family salvation
5) Jobs!
6) More money! haha.
7) Ipod nano
8) canon MArkII with all the L lenses. haha
9) Build up my port folio
10) a car!
That's that for now :D
Happy NEW YEAR!!!!
It's 2006!!
Goodness! Time don't have wings but they sure do fly.
Although sometimes, it doesn't fly as fast as we wish it to be. esp
when we are screaming in pain. haha. i'm sure you guys know what i mean.
An good example of this is 1999, we were all meeting at Hollywood theatre. Then shift to Jurong west and now, Praise God, we're in expo! I can't wait for our new building of 10,000 seater hall! The seed is in me and now we got to arise and build God a great HOUSE!
2005 was really a year of ups and downs for me. The ups are the trips i took overseas in the name of work(and work it is. At least 80% of it is! heh heh) Bali trip was the best! most enjoyable! Indonesia was the most memorable and portfolio builder for me. It's more than a year since i was back there already. Goodness. Got lotsa pictures from that trip.
Downs. one particular acacia wood that God place in my life. A thorn in the flesh. Really thorny. It's not like a rose's stalk. AT least that stalk got something nice, not like this splinter. ouch.
How did i spend my NYE? i spend it at home again this year! Practising Guitar for cell group :D Had a nice dinner at Bedok 85 market. I felt like i was a gangster when i was there. TRying to negotiate with a grouchy uncle and this(quite nice)old ah beng to give us more tables. haha. Then celebrated Shuzhen's mum's bday with her and the cell group. hehe..
Well, i'm really looking forward to 2006. I'm gonna finish serving my NS and finally can do more things that are fruitful to life! i can finally start to earn some money!
i have yet to come up with my resolutions yet. But one thing is for sure is that i wan to get my car license by this year!
