During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, 'How do I know if I married the right person?' I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 'It depends. Is that your husband?' In all seriousness, she answered 'How do you know?'
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.
Here's the answer. EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse / partner . You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit).
Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.
People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept of my feet.' Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?' And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could.
And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression 'the labor of love.' Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.
Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.
Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can 'make' love.
Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'... Not just a feeling.
Remember this always:
'God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.'
Me: Wow. The last statement is very good. I decide who i let walk away, who i let stay and who i refuse to let go. Wow
Some people like lots of stimulation; they want people around them, activity and excitement, whilst others prefer to be able to focus on things in a calm and quiet environment. Most people prefer a blend of the two extremes and your answers suggest that you are quite comfortable in either situation. You can probably cope with things being a bit hectic or a bit quiet but, like most people, you may find extremes in either direction uncomfortable or annoying.
Confidence
Some people make decisions very easily and tend not to worry about them before or afterwards while, at the other extreme, some people are so careful and cautious that the decisions never get made! Taking a cautious approach can be a good thing (do you want to fly with a pilot that is so free from worry and concern that she never checks her controls and instruments and doesn't bother to communicate with air-traffic control?) and you seem to have described yourself as someone who does tend to be quite cautious and careful. This can be very important in detailed work or areas were mistakes can have a major cost although you may find yourself avoiding risks and many cautious people wish they were bolder.
Openness
While some people like experimenting with new things and ideas, others prefer traditional methods and taking a very practical approach to problems.
Your answers suggest that you like to balance a willingness to try new things with making sure you don't scrap an existing approach that works just because it has been around for a while. Like most people you may not enjoy constant change and uncertainty or an environment where nothing develops from year to year, but your preparedness to see the merits of new and old alike can be helpful.
Agreeableness
Most people want to be able to get on with others but to some it is the most important thing in the world, whilst others are quite happy to upset someone else if it means that things get done.
Your answers suggest that you can be firm with people when you need to be but that getting on with others is still important to you. Like most people you would rather avoid conflict but are not prepared to put up with being treated badly by others.
Conscientiousness
Some people like everything to be well planned, tidy and organised, whilst others prefer to deal with things as they come up and appear to work in absolute chaos.
Your answers suggest that you don't like having things too structured or being tied down and you can cope quite well without having to have everything organised. This may make it hard to find things at times or for colleagues to know where you are or what you are doing, but you probably find coping with the unexpected (the things your colleagues didn't plan for!) easier than many.
This questionnaire can't tell you exactly what you are like; it doesn't go into enough detail and only helps you ask questions about the way you behave and make decisions in your occupation. Don't rely on it to tell you what your personality is like but use it to think about the different ways that people go about doing things. Read each description, ask yourself if it sounds like you (and it may not!)
Recently, i got myself a new hard disk because my 250Gig, after serving me for 15months have 4gig left in it :S Anyway, the new casing looks really cool! So yesterday at about 2pm, i took it out to format it. Decided to do a zero disk erase and MS-dos format so that it can be 32 bit. When i ran it, it estimated 4hours. When i left the office at 930pm, it's only half way done! Had to leave my lappie in the office so when i saw the completion this morning, i was happy.
Plug it in. Another dialogue box came up. It's the same one as yesterday!! Meaning, all those hours were wasted?!
Searched online, called the person who sold me the HDD so on and so forth. In the end. I decide to format it with my MAc computer. For my next HDD, i'll get the seller to format it to 32 bit for me. I'm too lazy to go to Sim lim again (third time if i go) in one week.
Saw a quote which i think is brilliant!
Charles Kettering - "The world hates change, yet it is the only thing that has brought progress"
This blog is all over the shop. haha. Have a good weekend! Whoever is reading this. TAg pls!! :D
I spend my saturday morning watching Britains got talent. The longest time i've spend you-tubing. And to answer SK (read my tagboard). Find me a girl who like this. haha. I'll waive off your ang pow.
One of the things i like to do is to do personality test. Maybe because sometimes, i forget who i am or what i'm like.
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
Me: True.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Me: True
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
Me: True
The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Me: I like to flirt and behave seductively? If i really do this, i do this subconciously. Because i don't think i do it. haha. But one thing is for sure, I DON'T ALWAYS have admireres hanging off my arms. And i'm pretty serious about choosing the right one to be in a relationship. That would also explain my singlehood for 7years since my last girlfriend. I'm extremely particular about who i chose to let in in my life.
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
Me: V.true. Anyone want want to sponsor my pursue of a degree overseas?
The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.
Me: Yeah.. But i have choose something. Photography!
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
Me: haha. Explains my apprehensiveness of my choice to start my own company.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Me: I'm not a particular control freak. Things i can control i will do my best to make sure everything is ok. If it's not within my control, then i'll just have to let it be. Not too sure about the anger bit though.
Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
Me: I'm unpredictable. haha. maybe because i hate to be a certain mould. I dislike conforming. I dislike uniform. I want to stand out. Be the odd one out (sometimes, haha). But with that, i fall into the mould of unpredictable. haha. It's in the blood of human beings. Everything must be named. Since adam's task is named everything God made, i wouldn't blame this.
As my title suggest, it's the block buster hit IRONMAN out in the cinemas. I think, the CGI is superb, acting and casting of Robert Jr is great. He completely suit the role. It's the kind of show that most guys will like. Explosions, Jericho missle, a dog-fight with two F/A 22 raptor, One on One fight with the first prototype, the gadgets, the cars, the hotties, witty humour and heroism. Awesome. Leave your brains at home, sit down and enjoy the show. In the theatres of course.
