food an anti-depressant
It is! It's a thought that occurred to me just a while ago. I was feeling rather depressed about life just now. Felt lonely and trapped in a box. A box that restricts my freedom, my potentials and a sense of purpose for life.
Plus the unpredictability of life presently makes it alot worse. Someone said that your destiny is in your hands, within your control. But i'm feeling exactly the opposite. I can't do the things i like. The things that gives me a sense of satisfaction. A life without satisfaction is no life at all. Completely no say, no control. The spirit is so ever willing, body ready to act but circumstances stands in the way. Adding to the frustration, you can't change the circumstances at all since you got no power over it. So helpless.
Then i felt it's time to go for dinner. Felt a graving to eat macdonald's. So i eat. Once dinner is in my tummy, i completely feel alot happier. weird but yet it seem so true. humph... though i still hold on to the feelings above, my spirt is lifted up. Food is an anti-depressant. If you're depressed, try going for your fav food. It'll keep the doctors and blues away!
hell week!
*breathes in deep* AIR OF FREEDOM! For at least a few hours... going back to camp tonight! sigh... well, this week is full of crap once more. And i swear if i'm a samurai still in it's gloriest days, i would have chop off a few heads by now!
Exercise Grandslam. I'm expected to stay outfield on the first day so as to maine the communication set. well, i did... and SUPPOSELY it's a fair share of work. I had to go out AGAIN on the last night of the excerise although I'M NOT SUPPOSED to be. The contributing factors includes selfishness and selfishness. GOD i hate this word. I dropped a biggest obvious(like how the atomic is dropped; which means super obvious!)hint(rather sacastic remake) to one of these guy about his behaviour which is pretty wrong. He knows it and yet... sigh. He must have thank God that my sword is not by my side and the fact that samurais were now a thing of the past.
Seriously, i have not seen someone like that in my whole entire life. Ns will make you a man! righto... well, if that's consider a man, i'll already a man when i was born! Well at least the saying that "you'll meet people of all sorts in NS" is fulfilled.
I'm not critising this person because of his looks(though.. nvm) but rather his attitude. Having pleasure for himself at the expense of others! And not to say shunning responsible because of comfort. And NOT to say being fair to one another. What make my blood boils is that he still complained about another guy(who is also one of the guy who i would chop the thing on his shoulder off)about him being unfair. HELLO. PLs judge yourself before you judge others. That applies to me. I daresay this cause i've done my part. But i'm not passing judgement coz who am i to judge. I'm bascially fenting my anger. One motivating factor that spark the "writing" me(i'm not a "writing" person... if you know what i mean)
Ahhh... feel much better already. Ohh... did i mention i attended a blood donation drive solely organised by the freeeeaaaaaakiiinnggg mosquitos at PAsir Leba CAMP! Goodness racious me. Being a REsponsible Sentry Guard(ahem.. heh heh) i had to stay at a gate to prevent people or vehicles to go thru, accessing the live range. I started at 6aM and stayed there all the way to 1245am! In the morning it was still alright. Saw squrriel playing on the trees and the nice break of dawn. But That's jus the beginning. AFter that... i was basically a guard cum food. My partner and me got so bored that we played senseless games.After that, we started jumping around in a futile attempt to keep those darn bloodsuckers away from us. I lost count of how many i've killed(ops). Then night came. More and more suckers joined in the killing. I've never been so irritated in my whole life(fine.. except for the person i mentioned above). If we had more hairs on our head, we'll probably have the hairstyle of zidane. WEll, Edurance is not an easy word to embrace but all things have to come to an end. So it ended at 1245am. I got back to camp at 335am and slept til 530am so as to get ready to go home. Home never felt so good.
Just got the date for my graduation/cert collecting day. Can't wait for that day to come. And i HOPE that i'll be able to go HQ and get into TDS! darn. a blink of a eye and i'll be back at camp. how cool is that! :|
eternal sunshine
about less than two hours i'll have to head back to the darn island called tekong. sigh oh well, at least i did something i feel proud of today. And that's watching a show! haha
I had to choose between man in skirts, green orge or this show called Eternal Sunshine of a spotless mind. I decided to watch something out of the ordinary. Besides, the tag line to it seems to struck a chord in my heart.
So the show started and i was slighty disorientated. But as it goes on, it started to fill me with feelings and alot of things to think about. After the credits roll on screen, i was pretty overwhelmed by the theme of the film... It completely left my heart bleeding,aching and my mind with questions and wonder.
The show is about being able to remove memories(usually bad ones since who in the right mind will wanna remove good ones?)for good. After a sleep and you'll forget ever going that place, meeting the person or whatever you wanna forget. And so it goes... i don't wanna reveal anymore coz i rather u go catch it yourself. I bet you won't regret it unless u completely miss the concept of the whole story.
It makes me wonder about bad memories and if i given the choice to erase it off will i do it? you may say you wanna. But can you still be you without that? IF you're hurt by someone you love and you wanna forget him/her for good. Will you do it too? What if half way thru the "operation" you regretted and you decide that you wanna get out of it but find that you can't? That's part of the story(ops.. it's just a small part). But it really ring the bell in my heart.
"IT's going to end"
"I know"
"What can we do now?"
"Enjoy the moment"
Goosh... such pain. such grief. sigh. this show definitely going into my fav. list. And i'm so so so glad i watched it. you should to if u have the chance!
Back to alot of sai kang in camp. See ya in one week's time. Unless i fall sick and kena send back! haha... cheerS.
TIme is life....
wasting time is simply wasting your life away
first entry
woah.. my first blog entry in my whole life! well, just had the mood or rather the urge to write something about how i feel and how i look at the world thru this small little pair of eyes on my head!
but even b4 i start i'll have to admit that i'm darn sleepy now so i'll start blogging tmr! not like anyone will be reading this now anyway! :D Tmr THEN!
22/05/04
